"Americans in Bed"

Americans in Bed, 2013
Dir.: Philippa Robinson
Prod.: Philippa Robinson
Exec Prod.: Sheila Nevins, Jane Tranter

I'm back after a hiatus! It was an unintentional hiatus, because I could never find the time to doc watch. I've been either too busy with roller derby or work or shows are piling up on the DVR...but I found myself alone this afternoon with not much to do, so what better way than to catch up on this blog?

I'm trying to get back into the HBO summer series that I kind of abandoned halfway through. But this is one that I've been dying to watch, even though it was the last film featured in the series. It came highly recommended from one of the girls I practice roller derby with (we trade documentary titles all the time now, it's nice to have a friend who also loves this film genre!).

70% of people believe in love at first sight. The US has the highest marriage rate in the western world, but over half of them end in divorce. Americans in Bed asks the questions - what do we want? What are we looking for when it comes to relationships, love, marriage? But, as the tagline of the movie says - no two love stories are alike.

Top, L to R: Deanne & Guy; Fatima & Kevin; Linda & Margie
Bottom, L to R: Leon & Blanca; Joe & Patty; George & Farid

For Americans in Bed, director Philippa Robinson interviewed ten couples all over the country in the place where we are often most open with one another and ourselves - their bedrooms. The couples come from all walks of life, all ages, all denominations. Two same sex couples are featured. Couples in their seventies, couples in their twenties, couples who have age differences. Couples who fight, couples who have had affairs, couples who have had previous relationships. Ten couples, ten completely different stories, ten relationships - all beautiful.

Helen and Red, still smiling after 71 years

Deanne and Guy are on multiple marriages: Deanne is Guy's second wife; Guy is Deanne's fourth husband - but their sex life is nonexistent. Guy suffers from ED issues, but Deanne openly admits that sex toys help her get by. Red and Helen have been married 71 years, and met when Helen was only sixteen years old. Their sex life was very active and healthy until recently, due to health issues, but Helen very proudly announces that she never refused sex from Red. Margie and Linda were both in relationships in men when they found each other, and fell in love.

Leon and Blanca describe their relationship as "bipolar" - ultimate highs and ultimate lows (they've broken up twenty-six times). However, they also have an open relationship - Leon is polyamorous: he considers Blanca his girlfriend, but often dates other people. Blanca used to have issues with this, but has since come to terms with the fact that though Leon might date others, he will always come back to her.

Randy and Julie make up after a fight they had on camera. 

I had two favorite couples when watching this doc. Yasmin and Mohamed are one.  They are newlyweds of nine months who had no physical contact with one another until after they were married, as per the rules of Islam. Yasmin excitedly describes the first time she held Mohamed's hand after their wedding ceremony. As Mohamed begins to describe their first night being intimate with one another, Yasmin worriedly puts a hand on his shoulder and says, "Wait, are you comfortable talking about this?" Mohamed nods casually and says, "Yes, yes I'm very comfortable with what I'm about to say." That single gesture, that sentence of concern from Yasmin, are what really make them stand out for me. You can see that they are still in the honeymoon period by the way both of their faces glow when they look at each other.

The other couple I loved were Joe and Patty. They're an older couple, probably in their forties, with three kids. They have a wonderful loving relationship, still with an active sex life, and they easily joke with one another. Joe talks a lot about how at this point in their lives, it isn't just about the sex anymore. It's about intimacy - touching and flirting and kissing and grabbing. I saw a lot of me and my own husband in them, and I sincerely hope that out of all the couples featured, that we grow to be more like Joe and Patty than any of the others.

Antonio and Roberta shared the story of their relationship, which began as an affair

This is just a small sprinkling, a taste, of all the stories that are shared. These couples are stripped down to the bare minimum and are asked to share their most intimate stories about their personal lives. Philippa Robinson treats every story with such care and respect. Every couple feels comfortable - despite being at their most vulnerable - and their honesty and bravery is mind blowing.

My husband and I have been together almost six years. In September we'll have our second wedding anniversary. We've had our struggles, like most couples, and even though we've been through so much together, we still have a lot to learn, and a lot to get through.

My one regret about watching this documentary is that I wish I'd watched it with my husband because I feel like it could have opened up some great dialogues. So, my one advice to you, reader, is that if you are in a relationship, watch it with your partner - it could help you in ways you might not even realize.

"Young@Heart"

Young@Heart, 2007
Dir.: Stephen Walker, Sally George
Prod.: Hannah Beckerman, Sally George, Jane Villiers

This morning, as I lay in bed watching TV, I saw a commercial for something only I would get excited for: the summer documentary series on HBO. YES!!!

HBO will be showing ten hour-long documentaries, once a week for ten weeks, starting tomorrow until August 12th. I was so excited I immediately set my DVR. I’m going to be watching and blogging all ten documentaries (starting tomorrow with Pussy Riot: A Punk Prayer).

Anyway, seeing this commercial totally lit a fire under me and it put me in a doc watching mood. So, let’s dive back in!

Okay. Quick – picture a glee club!

I bet you’re thinking one of two things: overly sequined Broadway rejects singing cheesy, schmaltzy versions of pop songs, or that monstrous TV show that falls under the category "it seemed like a good idea at the time" (you know exactly what I'm talking about). 

I'm glaring at you, Fox...

Well, I’m about to totally blow your mind. Meet the Young@Heart chorus – a music group comprised of twenty-four senior citizens singing punk and rock songs. Talk about “seniors behaving badly”!

The average age of this group is EIGHTY! EIGHTY, OKAY?! They sing, they entertain, they tour, they’re up on stage, singing their asses off, with walkers, wheelchairs and canes. The documentary follows them on their journey to rehearse a brand new touring show, which will open in seven weeks.

Eat your heart out, Rachel Berry

It originally began as a group of golden oldies singing golden oldies. However, one member of the group suddenly busted out into singing the song “Do Wa Ditty”, and the course of the chorus was changed forever.

The chorus master, Bob Cilman, is charismatic and funny and works extremely hard with the chorus. At the first rehearsal that is filmed, he congratulates one member on his birthday, makes a few jokes about kidney stones, and then asks, “Anyone have any other health issues they want to share? Anyone having a baby?”

Bob picks songs like “I Wanna Be Sedated” by the Ramones and “I Feel Good” by James Brown. He’s not so much concerned with tune or harmonies. It’s more about camaraderie, fun and entertainment. He prints the lyrics out for everyone using an extra-large font. He provides CDs for the members, so that they can sing along at home and learn the words. The choreography is light and easy. They’ve performed at schools, festivals and for the Queen of Norway. Though not everyone loves the music Bob picks (some admit to wearing ear plugs to rehearsal), they all love being a part of the chorus.

Most of the members of the group have no idea about punk and rock – they only sing it. Their own tastes vary from Broadway standards to opera. Sonic Youth, the Clash and Outkast may be on their own program, but they don’t prefer to listen to it.

The oldest member of the group is Eileen, who is 92 years old. She’s a British import who, in a former life, was a burlesque dancer. She’s flirty and sweet, who tells people she’s twenty nine. “I just switch the numbers ‘round!” she laughs. She lives in a nursing home, but is the only resident who has her own key to the front door to the facility, due to the fact that chorus rehearsals sometimes keep her out late, after all of the staff has gone home.

“Singing does a lot for your whole body,” says chorus member Joe. He’s eighty three years old, has battled cancer (and went through six bouts of chemotherapy), and is going on tour with Young@Heart against medical advice. He, Eileen and their friend Lenny, travel to rehearsals together. Lenny (a WW2 veteran) is the only one who is still able to drive. He also enjoys going on long bike rides and is still active in other choral groups, like the Harmonicats and the church choir.

The most emotional part of the documentary is when Bob visits a former member of Young@Heart, named Bob Salvini, who swears that music brought him back from the brink of death. He was hospitalized, and not expected to survive the night. A priest was brought in to say his last rites. However, his daughter tells about how singing through the night helped him pull through. “He sang everything,” she says. “Everything from the Young@Heart program.”

I think my favorite part, however, is the scene where the chorus does their first-ever performance at a prison. This was one of the greatest things I have ever seen on film - two dozen senior citizens performing in an outside courtyard, surrounded by barbed wire, for inmates who genuinely look like that they are having a wonderful time. I'm serious! These guys sit and listen to the chorus with gigantic smiles on their faces, bobbing their heads and clapping with sincere appreciation. At one point, a few of them are moved to tears. Afterwards, the chorus members mingle with the prisoners, who give them hugs and handshakes, complimenting their performance and saying how much they loved them. It was quite wonderful to see. 

Young@Heart was a wonderful, uplifting documentary. I did not stop smiling the entire time, though there are moments that will move you to tears. These elderly folks really are young at heart – they would rather defy their doctors and travel to rehearsals than miss a single one. They sing in the shower, they sing in the car, they sing to each other. They love to dance and to perform. They work so hard to learn these songs, and when Bob gets frustrated at rehearsals and wants to cut a song, they get up and arms and threaten to pummel him. They even make music videos!

What I took away the most from Young@Heart is that you’re never too old to do what you love and as long as it makes you happy, there’s nothing that can stop you.

I really hope I'm this cool when I'm an octogenarian. 

For more information about the Young@Heart chorus (and get their tour schedule, of course), visit: http://youngatheartchorus.com/