"Americans in Bed"

Americans in Bed, 2013
Dir.: Philippa Robinson
Prod.: Philippa Robinson
Exec Prod.: Sheila Nevins, Jane Tranter

I'm back after a hiatus! It was an unintentional hiatus, because I could never find the time to doc watch. I've been either too busy with roller derby or work or shows are piling up on the DVR...but I found myself alone this afternoon with not much to do, so what better way than to catch up on this blog?

I'm trying to get back into the HBO summer series that I kind of abandoned halfway through. But this is one that I've been dying to watch, even though it was the last film featured in the series. It came highly recommended from one of the girls I practice roller derby with (we trade documentary titles all the time now, it's nice to have a friend who also loves this film genre!).

70% of people believe in love at first sight. The US has the highest marriage rate in the western world, but over half of them end in divorce. Americans in Bed asks the questions - what do we want? What are we looking for when it comes to relationships, love, marriage? But, as the tagline of the movie says - no two love stories are alike.

Top, L to R: Deanne & Guy; Fatima & Kevin; Linda & Margie
Bottom, L to R: Leon & Blanca; Joe & Patty; George & Farid

For Americans in Bed, director Philippa Robinson interviewed ten couples all over the country in the place where we are often most open with one another and ourselves - their bedrooms. The couples come from all walks of life, all ages, all denominations. Two same sex couples are featured. Couples in their seventies, couples in their twenties, couples who have age differences. Couples who fight, couples who have had affairs, couples who have had previous relationships. Ten couples, ten completely different stories, ten relationships - all beautiful.

Helen and Red, still smiling after 71 years

Deanne and Guy are on multiple marriages: Deanne is Guy's second wife; Guy is Deanne's fourth husband - but their sex life is nonexistent. Guy suffers from ED issues, but Deanne openly admits that sex toys help her get by. Red and Helen have been married 71 years, and met when Helen was only sixteen years old. Their sex life was very active and healthy until recently, due to health issues, but Helen very proudly announces that she never refused sex from Red. Margie and Linda were both in relationships in men when they found each other, and fell in love.

Leon and Blanca describe their relationship as "bipolar" - ultimate highs and ultimate lows (they've broken up twenty-six times). However, they also have an open relationship - Leon is polyamorous: he considers Blanca his girlfriend, but often dates other people. Blanca used to have issues with this, but has since come to terms with the fact that though Leon might date others, he will always come back to her.

Randy and Julie make up after a fight they had on camera. 

I had two favorite couples when watching this doc. Yasmin and Mohamed are one.  They are newlyweds of nine months who had no physical contact with one another until after they were married, as per the rules of Islam. Yasmin excitedly describes the first time she held Mohamed's hand after their wedding ceremony. As Mohamed begins to describe their first night being intimate with one another, Yasmin worriedly puts a hand on his shoulder and says, "Wait, are you comfortable talking about this?" Mohamed nods casually and says, "Yes, yes I'm very comfortable with what I'm about to say." That single gesture, that sentence of concern from Yasmin, are what really make them stand out for me. You can see that they are still in the honeymoon period by the way both of their faces glow when they look at each other.

The other couple I loved were Joe and Patty. They're an older couple, probably in their forties, with three kids. They have a wonderful loving relationship, still with an active sex life, and they easily joke with one another. Joe talks a lot about how at this point in their lives, it isn't just about the sex anymore. It's about intimacy - touching and flirting and kissing and grabbing. I saw a lot of me and my own husband in them, and I sincerely hope that out of all the couples featured, that we grow to be more like Joe and Patty than any of the others.

Antonio and Roberta shared the story of their relationship, which began as an affair

This is just a small sprinkling, a taste, of all the stories that are shared. These couples are stripped down to the bare minimum and are asked to share their most intimate stories about their personal lives. Philippa Robinson treats every story with such care and respect. Every couple feels comfortable - despite being at their most vulnerable - and their honesty and bravery is mind blowing.

My husband and I have been together almost six years. In September we'll have our second wedding anniversary. We've had our struggles, like most couples, and even though we've been through so much together, we still have a lot to learn, and a lot to get through.

My one regret about watching this documentary is that I wish I'd watched it with my husband because I feel like it could have opened up some great dialogues. So, my one advice to you, reader, is that if you are in a relationship, watch it with your partner - it could help you in ways you might not even realize.