"The Good Mother"

The Good Mother, 2009

Dir.: Sarah Klein

Prod.: Anne Labro and Tom Mason

The tagline on Sarah Klein's study on suburban motherhood reads, "What makes a good mother?"

Well, that's a loaded question if I've ever heard one. Bravo, I'm interested. How many times have you heard someone refer to another as "mother of the year" with those oh-so-sarcastic undertones? Turns out there is an actual Mother of the Year award. I am not kidding.

The Good Mother goes inside the competition and the selection process of the American Mothers Incorporated's Young Mother of the Year award. The concept of the film is good. Klein obviously was trying to make some sort of satire out of this film by cutting scenes with archival footage of the archetypal 1950's stay-at-home mom: smiling until her cheeks hurt as she makes the beds, vaccuums and serves dinner to her family before they all bow their heads to pray. But to be quite honest, I alternated between being bored and shaking my head in disbelief. 

Apparently, for the past 70-something years, American Mothers Incorporated has been electing the Young Mother of the Year. They select one mother from each state that's been nominated by her peers, then, after three days of "rigorous examination", they compete for the national title by reading aloud an essay they have each written on what being a mother means to them.

At one point in the film, Connell Branan, a former recipient of the Young Mother of the Year Award describes the feeling she had when she was given the title: "All I wanted to be was a good mom and this says, 'Yes you are!'"

Is this the level we're at now? Women need a title to believe they're a good mother? Like how a driver's license says you're a good driver?

There's no monetary prize, only a title and an opportunity to be the spokesperson for mothers all across the country. It was actually founded by none other than J.C. Penney during the Depression era. Married women were taking odd jobs and struggling to keep their children fed while their husbands were out looking for work. So Penney wanted to award the "unwavering sacrifice of mothers" for their family and children. The first Young Mother of the Year was crowned in 1935.

I'm starting to see what they were doing there. But still, the question still stands: what makes a good mother?

Well, according to American Mothers Incorporated, to qualify for the competition, the woman must fit the following criteria: she must strive to improve her mothering skills; be married to her husband (a man), in a legal ceremony; all her children must be under the age of 18; and she must be an active member of a "faith-based organization". Each mother must submit a portfolio and answer a series of questions about motherhood, such as: what do you do to nurture each child? What has influenced your decisions as a mother and a wife? Do you have a family activities time?

When asked by Klein what would disqualify a woman in the competition, one of the organizers of the Young Mother of the Year competition admitted that lesbians have never been accepted. Yeah, saw that coming from a mile away. Fun fact: Hillary Clinton was a nominee for the Young Mother of the Year in the early 1980's but didn't win nationals. 

The film focuses on four of the competetors: Tonia, the Nebraska native with two children who persuaded her to quit work and stay at home; Kimberly, the New Hampshire mom who gave up a high paying career to raise her two children; Renee, the Indiana mother of five who cries as she packs her suitcases when it's time for her to leave for the competition; and Maria, the Oregonian Type-A mother who organizes the lives of her five children to a T.

Over three days, anonymous judges evaluate the mothers on several criteria, such as the ability to relate well with others, their devotion to motherhood, and their devotion to God. The afforementioned former Young Mother of the Year, Connell Branan, who also acts as a judge in this competition, digs her hole a little deeper by announcing that American mothers have gotten "lazy and selfish...Moms need to focus on their children and not let others tackle that job."

Okay, let's pump the brakes here. Lazy and selfish? Holy hyperbole, Batman. Are you trying to tell me that just because a mother decides to put her child in daycare because she needs to work 40 hours a week to put food on the table, she's considered lazy and selfish? Right then and there Connell Branan loses all my respect.

I really lost it during a judge's deliberation. The judges are all women, of course, of varying ages. The nominated mothers have just given the speeches on which they are being judged on. One of the head judges reminds the group: "We always like to involve prayer in our decisions. We will at some point be asking the help of our Creator because he knows who should represent young mothers."

What. No, seriously - what? Okay, I'm starting to get a clearer picture of American Mothers Incorporated now...

Meanwhile, we see a glimpse of what the husbands of Tonia, Maria, Kimberly and Renee are dealing with while their wives are away, and it's almost laughable: clueless men fumble around their homes amidst crying babies and picky toddlers, wading through piles of laundry to locate their child’s favorite belt or hairbrush. It honestly shows men in quite a poor light.

When the time finally comes to announce the winners, the head judge annouces to the room that "it was kind of hard for the selection committee. We had all these leaders jumping out at us. We each spent many hours...reading portfolios and speaking with our Lord about what he wanted us to do." Okay, what?

Well, the winner is announced, there's a ton of boo-hooing and forced smiles. The women are congratulating the winner but it's so very obvious what they're thinking as they hug one another. One of the women the documentary follows goes to her room, chugs a huge bottle of Mountain Dew and tries to hold back tears as she removes her eye makeup. She contemplates to Klein what she could have done better, or differently. But then she decides that no one is perfect. Oh. Shocker.

I think Sarah Klein's efforts were valiant in The Good Mother. I think she wanted to show that this was a somewhat antiquated competition with ridiculous guidelines and that every mother is a good mother. When this was filmed in 2008, only twenty-three states nominated mothers for the competition. However, only sixteen of them actually attended the conference. Perhaps that's a bit of a signal to the organizers that not everyone feels this is a relavent competition anymore. Not to mention the fact that they are isolating a huge amount of the population - for example, the guidelines say she must be married to the father of her children. So are we saying that widows aren't good mothers? What about divorcees? In my opinion, those women work twice as hard to be good mothers to their children, and yet they won't be recognized by this committee because they're not "married". 

Overall, The Good Mother frustrated me. It was a well edited documentary, but I didn't find the subject matter completely interesting.