"Confessions of a Superhero"

Confessions of a Superhero, 2007

Dir.: Matt Ogens

Prod.: C. Shawn Bennett, Jordan Ehrlich, Charles Gruet, Elizabeth McIntyre, Mark Meyers, Matt Ogens, Spencer Parker, Jamie Patricof and Zev Suissa.

Every morning, Christopher Lloyd Dennis brushes his teeth, washes his face, styles his hair and dons his uniform for work on Hollywood Boulevard: a uniform that consists of tights and a cape.

Dennis is one of many who make their living by dressing in costume and posing for pictures with tourists in Los Angeles, California. Rain or shine, winter or summer, they are all there - characters ranging from Jack Sparrow to Marilyn Monroe to Spiderman - working for tips while waiting for their big break. 

Matt Ogens focuses on four of these hard working individuals as they dedicate their lives to  becoming famous - regardless of the cost to their home lives and own mental well-being.

The subjects of this documentary are, of course, Dennis, who was the first Superman on Hollywood Boulevard; Max Allen who dresses as Batman and deals with intense anger issues; Jennifer Garrett, the Tennessee-born pastor's daughter, also known as Wonder Woman; and Joe McQueen, who lumbers around in a large, bulky Incredible Hulk costume.

The film also has a few interviews with the beat cops who stroll Hollywood Boulevard, making sure that the characters are respecting the line between public and private property and aren't terrorizing the tourists. Their job is mostly benign, and a few of the cops actually get to know the regulars - asking how their kids are, how their day is going and if they've had any auditions lately.

I had seen the costume characters on television and movies that take place in Los Angeles, but I always thought that these were either professional extras or hired by movie studios for promotional purposes. But this is quite the opposite. These costume characters are mostly independent workers, accepting tips from tourists. They are not allowed to approach people and ask if they want a picture, and then demand payment - that is considered panhandling. Therefore, they have no control over their take of the day. "On a bad day," Jennifer Garrett says, "I will make thirty dollars. On a good day, I will make $150 an hour."

Confessions of a Superhero is as light as it is dark. While it seems like fun to learn about the people who sped their days dressing up as superheros and popular characters, it turns out that most of them - or at least the ones featured in this film - are pretty miserable. Well, not really miserable, but they do have their troubles.

Christopher Dennis, for example, calls himself a "historian of Superman and keeper of artifacts". His girlfriend, who studies psychology, calls him "obsessive". Shots of his apartment show that it is covered from floor to ceiling with Superman memorabilia, toys, posters and figurines - an estimated $90,000 worth of merchandise.

Max Allen, who once worked as a George Clooney impersonator, has a history of violent behavior and may or may not have been involved with the mafia. His past jobs also include stunt driving, boxing, and bodyguarding. He holds several black belts and has received Special Forces training. He attends anger management therapy, in full Batman costume. The cops have been called on him for scaring people, and aggressive begging.

Jennifer Garrett dropped out of college to move to Los Angeles and become an actress. On her fourth day in town, she met a man at a seminar. Two weeks later, they were married in Las Vegas. However, after several years, their marriage is quickly disintegrating. She admits that their spark is gone and he no longer excites her. At one point in the film, Jennifer has a meeting with her talent agent, who refers to her as a "sexy, curvy woman", though Jennifer is no more than a size eight.

Joe McQueen sold his video game system to buy a one way bus ticket out of North Carolina to Hollywood. He dealt with homelessness for four years while struggling to make it as an actor. He admits that he loathes dressing up as the Hulk on Hollywood Boulevard. "I feel like a loser. I didn't come out here to...make chump change."

The four performers constantly struggle with being in the position that they are in. The only one who seems content with themselves is Christopher. He really commits to his role as Superman, addressing the tourists as "citizens", lecturing a man dressed as Spiderman for smoking in front of the tourists. "Superheros don't smoke," he says. One Marilyn Monroe complains to him that she has not made one dollar all day, and Christopher reminds her that "tipping is not mandatory". On record heat days in Los Angeles, Christopher invites Jennifer back to his apartment so that they can soak themselves and their costumes in cold water. Meanwhile, the temperature reaches 130 degrees inside Joe's Hulk costume.

During the time that this movie was being filmed, two costumed characters made news headlines after they were arrested for aggressive begging. Footage of "Elmo" and "Mr. Incredible" being handcuffed and shoved into the back of police cars were all over YouTube and local news outlets. While the publicity did a lot for the other costumed characters - some were raking in thousands of dollars a day in tips - they became more on edge. Undercover police officers took to walking Hollywood Boulevard to make sure that the performers were complying with the rules. However, it turned out to not be much of a problem. Late night talk show hosts were clamoring to get them for interviews. Magazines and newspapers ran articles on them. Christopher Dennis  was even featured in a coffee table book about the performers on Hollywood Boulevard.

I had mixed feelings about Confessions of a Superhero. I thought it would be more of a lighthearted romp about people who get to live out their childhood fantasies by dressing up as their favorite characters/celebrities. But, like the superheroes that these actors portray, their lives aren't picture perfect. Max Allen is just as troubled and dark as Batman. Christopher Dennis struggles to find his place in the world, like Superman. It's almost as if the costumes reflect their own psychology. Director Matt Ogens did a fair job of portraying the struggles of the Hollywood Boulevard character actors. It wasn't my favorite documentary and it did drag a bit, however, if you're interested in a really fascinating stance on comic book characters/superheroes and psychology, this is what you'd want to watch.

"Fagbug"

Fagbug, 2009

Dir.: Erin Davies

Prod.: Susan Coscione, Erin Davies, Jennifer K. Persons

In the mid-1990's, Eve Ensler wrote a monologue about the word "cunt" for her play, "The Vagina Monologues". The goal, she explains, was to reclaim a lovely word, despite its negative connotations. Following an unfortunate incident in 2007, Albany college student Erin Davies aimed to do the same thing with the word "fag".

In April of 2007, as she was leaving for work, Erin discovered that someone had spray painted the word "fag" on the driver's side window of her gray Volkswagen Beetle, and "U R GAY" on the hood, with red spray paint. Erin, an out lesbian, is visibly upset, shocked and embarrassed at the vandalism. The police refuse to recognize it as a hate crime, and her insurance company will not pay to have the graffiti removed. So, despite the warnings from her girlfriend, her mother and her brother, Erin decides to leave the graffiti on the car.

When she arrives to work on her college campus later that day, she is asked to move her car away from the general population, in case other people are offended by it, and to prevent any more vandalism. Erin refuses to move her car.

At first, everyone is supportive of Erin's decision to leave the graffiti. She recieves positive messages on her blog, on her MySpace page, and on her voicemail. After gaining media attention for driving the graffitied car around Albany and marching in Albany Pride, Erin decides to take a cross-country road trip in her "Fagbug", to promote awareness and speak out against hate crimes and homophobia. After raising over $800 for her trip, several of her friends turn their backs on her, insisting that the money Erin has raised should go to a charitable organization, not to pay for a "summer vacation". They tell her that by keeping the money, she doesn't help anyone but herself.

This I did not understand. Erin raised money so that she could promote awareness. It's not like she was doing this for fun. She

Shortly before her trip, someone removes the word "fag" from her window using what she suspects is a razorbade while she is in a bar with friends. After some contemplation, Erin puts it back on. Without the word on the car, her mission falls flat. She cannot reclaim the word if it's gone.

Erin's road trip commences. She stops in Florida, where she speaks to the friends and family of Ryan Skipper, a young man who was murdered for being gay 35 days before Erin's car was vandalized. She also stops in South Carolina, where she is in time to attend a memorial service for Sean Kennedy, another young man who was beaten to death for being gay only 28 days after Erin's car was vandalized. She learns from those attending Sean Kennedy's memorial service that South Carolina is one of three states that do not have hate crime laws.

Everywhere Erin goes, she obviously recieves attention - some good, some bad. People leave notes on her car, calling her an inspiration. Some even leave money. One woman even pays for her hotel room one night. Strangers share their own stories of discrimination, hatr crimes and homophobia, and thank Erin for her bravery. At one point, a note appears that reads: "It's a shame you made this up", and then a phone number at the bottom. Naturally, Erin calls the letter writer and asks to meet him. The man who left the note agrees to be shown on camera, and accuses Erin of doing the graffiti herself just to gain media recognition and make money.

Obviously that is maddening. Erin makes it very clear that her intention was never to make money and why, as a gay woman, would she ever vandalize her own car just for attention? That would be like me painting giant swastikas on the hood of my car.

Erin's trip has its ups and downs. Among the highlights: she has a rock thrown at her window in New Mexico, cracking her windshield. She recieved donations at San Diego Pride, and was asked to drive the Fagbug in the parade. Erin was informed that there was a group online called "Boycott the Fagbug", a group that was determined to shut down Erin's mission, claiming she was doing nothing to promote gay pride and that she was only a gimmick. Erin is also awarded Most Outstanding Individual at Vancouver Pride. 

One amazing turnaround happens when Erin recieves a call from someone at Volkswagen of America. They tell her that they want to sponor her, and reimburse her for gas and any car repairs. This just about floored me. You would think that a big corporation like Volkswagen would be dead set against a young lesbian driving all over the country with a pejorative word spray painted on her window and hood of one their models. Instead, Volkswagen embraced it! I wanted to cheer!

Erin meets another road tripper in Wyoming, a young man, and they happen to meet up again in another state. She asks him to participate in an experiment, and has him drive the Fagbug for a few hours. His experience was terrible, and the reactions were violently negative. He was pulled over by a policeman for having "profanities" on the car, and yelled at by passing cars.

Towards the end of her journey, in North Carolina, Erin pulls into a hotel and sees another car with the word "FAG" written on it. As she walks around the corner of the hotel, she spies a group of young men, all of whom are drinking. One of them recognizes Erin and calls her by name. How terrifying is that? When I heard this, I was terrified. I didn't want anything bad to happen to Erin - as my parents always used to tell me: cars are replaceable; people are not. At this point, I felt connected to Erin. I almost felt like she was my friend. I feared for her safety. Thankfully, Erin and the Fagbug survive the night, though she quickly leaves. Erin realizes that whether she likes it or not, her face has been in the media, and she very well may be a target.

Her prediction proves to be true. In Tampa, Florida, where Erin relocated, all four of the Fagbug's windows are smashed with a rock. Her neighbors suggest covering the car, but Erin decides against it.

After driving the Fagbug for a year, Erin decides to remove the graffiti. Courtesy of Volkswagen, she paints the bug in rainbow stripes (exactly like the Beetle that's on the poster).

Over the course of Erin Davies' crusade, she drove 55,00 miles across the country, htrough 41 states. She made headlines in 5 countries, interviewed 500 people, shot 110 hours of footage and documented 50 other hate crimes. Erin spoke at 25 schools, recieved 18 notes on her car, participated in 11 gay prides, had 7 people try to remove the graffiti and replaced 4 broken windows.

Fag is definitely one of those words that carries a heavy connotation. Much like the "N" word or the "C" word, fag is a slur that has also been used so very casually, without much thought as to the actual weight.

I absolutely adored Fagbug and Erin Davies. I admired her for her bravery and her determination to make others aware of the power of words. It made me want to go out and do something. It has been so long since I was active in the LGBTQ community, and this film has inspired me to become more involved. I was excited to discover that Erin is working on a sequel to Fagbug, which has yet to be given a title. I cannot wait to see it, and will review it as soon as I do! The sequel, exactly like the original, will be dedicated to "whoever vandalized my car". 

For more information on Erin Davies, her travels and the Fagbug, you can check out her website!

"Steal a Pencil For Me"

Steal a Pencil For Me, 2007

Dir.: Michele Ohayon

Prod.: Bryan O'Brien, Michele Ohayon, Theo van de Sande, Ted Sarandos, Jos van der Linden

"I'm a very special Holocaust survivor," proudly proclaims 93-year-old Jaap "Jack" Polak. "I was in the camps with my wife and my girlfriend; and believe me it wasn't easy."

Thus begins the romantic documentary of quite possibly one of the best and most unconventional love stories I have ever heard or seen on screen: the story of Jack and Ina Polak. At the time of the filming of this documentary, the happy couple, currently residing in New York City, were about to celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary.

As a Jew, I have a, shall we say, morbid fascination with World War II history, especially the Holocaust era. I am very fortunate that no one in my family had to live through the camps or experience Nazi occupation. However, I have always been drawn to this particular time in history. It's about the triumph of the human spirit, the determination to not roll over and die. Steal a Pencil For Me has both of these themes, along with stunning visuals and touching interviews with Ina, Jack and their friends, as well as beautiful narration taken from the letters Ina and Jack wrote to each other during the war. It's enough to make you sigh with longing.

In pre-war Amsterdam, Jack was an accountant. He fell in love with Ina, a diamond dealer's young daughter, at first sight when they met at a party. He wanted to marry her, but the problem was ... he was already married. He tried to divorce his wife Manja in 1941, but she said she did not want to. They were unhappy, but neither of them wanted to be alone.

This completely took me aback. I hadn't known going into this documentary that Jack was a married man, carrying on an affair with a woman nearly ten years his junior! This was about to get very, very interesting.

Director Michele Ohayon follows Jack and Ina's stories, painfully similar to others I have heard about this time period: they were dragged from their homes by Nazi officers, threatened with guns, their belongings were ransacked or sold. They were forbidden to own bicycles and radios. Ina recounts hearing about her neighbors committing suicide rather than be overtaken by the Nazis.

In July of 1943, Jack and his wife Manja were deported to Westerbork transit camp in Holland. Ina and her parents arrive two months later. Upon discovering this, Jack goes directly to the housing authority of Westerbork and asks to be placed in the same barracks as Ina - along with his wife.

This is either the smartest or dumbest man on Earth, I thought to myself. This is just asking for trouble.

"He won my heart by sheer persistence," says Ina with a smile. Even in her eighties, Ina is still a beautiful woman with apple cheeks and curly hair. She describes fondly how she and Jack would hold hands and take walks at night in Westerbork, until curfew. However, Ina kept her affair with Jack a secret from her parents, and she was concerned about hurting Manja. So, in order to keep their love a secret, they began writing letters to one another - beautiful, lyrical letters that professed their undying love for one another, how they would survive the war and be together forever. Jack would always address his letters to Ina with, "My dear little lady", and Ina would sign all of hers with "many kisses." Ina's sister would be their messenger, carrying the letters back and forth.

It seems as though every time I watch a Holocaust documentary, I learn something new. For example, in Steal a Pencil For Me, I learned what made the Westerbork transit camp unique. First off, a transit camp was, at first, a refugee camp for Dutch Jews trying to escape the Nazi regime. However, the inevitable happened - the Nazis took over, and turned Westerbork into a deportation camp. Basically, this is where Jews waited to be transported by train to either Auschwitz, Sobibor, Bergen-Belsen or Theresienstadt. What made Westerbork unique was, they had the modern conveniences. There was a sports arena, a hospital and very good schools. On Tuesday nights there was a cabaret. Those who taught at the school were Jewish teachers and professors who could no longer teach at public schools and universities. The doctors in the Westerbork hospital were Jews who were no longer allowed to practice in hospitals. This was all an illusion, however. Though the Jews who were interred at Westerbork were given all of this so that they would believe that Westerbork was not a bad place.

During a visit to Holland shortly before their anniversary, Jack and Ina visit Westerbork, which is now a memorial site and a museum, open to the public. While there, Jack encounters a group of Dutch schoolchildren on a class trip and takes a moment to share his wisdom and perspective on the Holocaust. He tells them there is no difference between a Jew and a non-Jew, a white man or a black man. "We are all born the same, we all die the same," he adds. 

Back in 1943, Jack and his wife Manja were deported from Westerbork to Bergen-Belsen. Three months later, Ina's name appears on a list to go to Auschwitz. However, at the last minute, her father pulls some strings and she is sent to Bergen-Belsen instead.

This is where Jack and Ina's letters take very dark turns. The flowery language is gone. Jack refers to himself as an "old man, getting older". Ina describes hunger pains, the misery of being unclean.  

While Jack is sent to do hard labor, Ina gets a job in one of the S.S. offices, taking minutes and German shorthand. This job kept her and Jack in paper and pencils so that they could keep writing their letters - at this point, these letters were keeping them alive. It gave them something to live for.

This is what I love about stories like this. Jack and Ina's love kept them alive. It was a little hard at first for me to accept this love, because, after all, Jack is still married. Manja is still alive, in the camps with Ina and Ina's sister. But the way they are so tender to one another in their letters, there is still a tiny spark of hope between the lines. Jack promises that they will get through this together, Ina suggests that they might move to America and start a new life. Despite all of the suffering around them, they still have a beautiful positive outlook on life, and are still deeply in love. It's incredibly admirable.

In 1945, when it was rumored that liberation was imminent, Jack and Ina exchanged their letters, so that they would both have the letters written by their own hand. This was Ina's idea, in case anything happened, and they would exchange them back once they were reunited. When the camps are liberated in April of 1945, the camp survivors were put on transit trains. Jack's train went East. Ina's train went to the West. They did not know where they were headed or if they would ever see each other again.

I was literally holding my breath the entire last few minutes of this documentary. It was obvious that both Ina and Jack survived, but I was dying to know how they'd found each other (of course, I will not spoil this ending for anyone who wishes to see the whole thing!).

Jack and Manja divorced, and then Jack married Ina. As of 2006, they have been married for 60 years. Together they have 3 children, 5 grandchilden and 2 great-grandchildren. In 2000, Jack and Ina's daughter Margrit published her parents' letters. Personally, I can't wait to track down the book - which is also titled Steal a Pencil For Me.

I really adored this documentary. Jack and Ina are the embodiment of Holocaust survival. Their love for one another them through one of the worst times in history. They had hope, they had faith, and they had each other. They persevered. Though at times their relationship was a bit hard to swallow, it being an affair, it's just too sweet to resist.

"The Good Mother"

The Good Mother, 2009

Dir.: Sarah Klein

Prod.: Anne Labro and Tom Mason

The tagline on Sarah Klein's study on suburban motherhood reads, "What makes a good mother?"

Well, that's a loaded question if I've ever heard one. Bravo, I'm interested. How many times have you heard someone refer to another as "mother of the year" with those oh-so-sarcastic undertones? Turns out there is an actual Mother of the Year award. I am not kidding.

The Good Mother goes inside the competition and the selection process of the American Mothers Incorporated's Young Mother of the Year award. The concept of the film is good. Klein obviously was trying to make some sort of satire out of this film by cutting scenes with archival footage of the archetypal 1950's stay-at-home mom: smiling until her cheeks hurt as she makes the beds, vaccuums and serves dinner to her family before they all bow their heads to pray. But to be quite honest, I alternated between being bored and shaking my head in disbelief. 

Apparently, for the past 70-something years, American Mothers Incorporated has been electing the Young Mother of the Year. They select one mother from each state that's been nominated by her peers, then, after three days of "rigorous examination", they compete for the national title by reading aloud an essay they have each written on what being a mother means to them.

At one point in the film, Connell Branan, a former recipient of the Young Mother of the Year Award describes the feeling she had when she was given the title: "All I wanted to be was a good mom and this says, 'Yes you are!'"

Is this the level we're at now? Women need a title to believe they're a good mother? Like how a driver's license says you're a good driver?

There's no monetary prize, only a title and an opportunity to be the spokesperson for mothers all across the country. It was actually founded by none other than J.C. Penney during the Depression era. Married women were taking odd jobs and struggling to keep their children fed while their husbands were out looking for work. So Penney wanted to award the "unwavering sacrifice of mothers" for their family and children. The first Young Mother of the Year was crowned in 1935.

I'm starting to see what they were doing there. But still, the question still stands: what makes a good mother?

Well, according to American Mothers Incorporated, to qualify for the competition, the woman must fit the following criteria: she must strive to improve her mothering skills; be married to her husband (a man), in a legal ceremony; all her children must be under the age of 18; and she must be an active member of a "faith-based organization". Each mother must submit a portfolio and answer a series of questions about motherhood, such as: what do you do to nurture each child? What has influenced your decisions as a mother and a wife? Do you have a family activities time?

When asked by Klein what would disqualify a woman in the competition, one of the organizers of the Young Mother of the Year competition admitted that lesbians have never been accepted. Yeah, saw that coming from a mile away. Fun fact: Hillary Clinton was a nominee for the Young Mother of the Year in the early 1980's but didn't win nationals. 

The film focuses on four of the competetors: Tonia, the Nebraska native with two children who persuaded her to quit work and stay at home; Kimberly, the New Hampshire mom who gave up a high paying career to raise her two children; Renee, the Indiana mother of five who cries as she packs her suitcases when it's time for her to leave for the competition; and Maria, the Oregonian Type-A mother who organizes the lives of her five children to a T.

Over three days, anonymous judges evaluate the mothers on several criteria, such as the ability to relate well with others, their devotion to motherhood, and their devotion to God. The afforementioned former Young Mother of the Year, Connell Branan, who also acts as a judge in this competition, digs her hole a little deeper by announcing that American mothers have gotten "lazy and selfish...Moms need to focus on their children and not let others tackle that job."

Okay, let's pump the brakes here. Lazy and selfish? Holy hyperbole, Batman. Are you trying to tell me that just because a mother decides to put her child in daycare because she needs to work 40 hours a week to put food on the table, she's considered lazy and selfish? Right then and there Connell Branan loses all my respect.

I really lost it during a judge's deliberation. The judges are all women, of course, of varying ages. The nominated mothers have just given the speeches on which they are being judged on. One of the head judges reminds the group: "We always like to involve prayer in our decisions. We will at some point be asking the help of our Creator because he knows who should represent young mothers."

What. No, seriously - what? Okay, I'm starting to get a clearer picture of American Mothers Incorporated now...

Meanwhile, we see a glimpse of what the husbands of Tonia, Maria, Kimberly and Renee are dealing with while their wives are away, and it's almost laughable: clueless men fumble around their homes amidst crying babies and picky toddlers, wading through piles of laundry to locate their child’s favorite belt or hairbrush. It honestly shows men in quite a poor light.

When the time finally comes to announce the winners, the head judge annouces to the room that "it was kind of hard for the selection committee. We had all these leaders jumping out at us. We each spent many hours...reading portfolios and speaking with our Lord about what he wanted us to do." Okay, what?

Well, the winner is announced, there's a ton of boo-hooing and forced smiles. The women are congratulating the winner but it's so very obvious what they're thinking as they hug one another. One of the women the documentary follows goes to her room, chugs a huge bottle of Mountain Dew and tries to hold back tears as she removes her eye makeup. She contemplates to Klein what she could have done better, or differently. But then she decides that no one is perfect. Oh. Shocker.

I think Sarah Klein's efforts were valiant in The Good Mother. I think she wanted to show that this was a somewhat antiquated competition with ridiculous guidelines and that every mother is a good mother. When this was filmed in 2008, only twenty-three states nominated mothers for the competition. However, only sixteen of them actually attended the conference. Perhaps that's a bit of a signal to the organizers that not everyone feels this is a relavent competition anymore. Not to mention the fact that they are isolating a huge amount of the population - for example, the guidelines say she must be married to the father of her children. So are we saying that widows aren't good mothers? What about divorcees? In my opinion, those women work twice as hard to be good mothers to their children, and yet they won't be recognized by this committee because they're not "married". 

Overall, The Good Mother frustrated me. It was a well edited documentary, but I didn't find the subject matter completely interesting.

"Trembling Before G-d"

Trembling Before G-d, 2001

Dir.: Sandi Simcha Dubowski

Prod.: Sandi Simcha Dubowski, Philippa Kowarsky, Marc Smolowitz, James Velaise

Leah and Malka have been together for ten years. They met while in high school, in Brooklyn. They moved to Miami where they have a beautifully supportive relationship. Leah and Malka are also Orthodox Jews, and every day struggle with their love for God and their love for each other.

As a Reform Jew myself, I was intrigued by this documentary. I had not had any experiences with the Hasidic or Orthodox community, but my fiance Matthew had.

Matthew was raised in what I like to all a "religiously neutral" home. He is the product of a Catholic mother and a Jewish father. Ironically, while his older sister was confirmed into the Catholic faith, Matthew decided, when we became engaged, he would convert to Judaism. The Orthodox community, it turns out, does not accept Reform converts as true Jews, and often shun them. Matthew had a very unfortunate run-in with an Orthodox rabbi when he called to inquire about a mikvah (ritual bath for spiritual cleansing).

Matthew was very upset. He called his sponsoring rabbi, who soothed his worries and explained to him that, like most religions, Hasidic and Orthodox Judaism has, unfortunately, its own set of biases and prejudices - not just the lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) community. It has a long history of sexism as well, which we are fortunately moving out of. But with the LGBTQ community has been coming more and more into the forefront, and the people in  that community do the only thing they can do: turn to the Talmud (the Torah).

In "Trembling Before G-d", director Sandi Simcha Dubowski travels from Los Angeles to New York to Jerusalem to examine not only the lives of gays and lesbians who are Orthodox and Hasidic, their ups and downs, their struggles, but the Jewish laws that are against this lifestyle and how the times are (very, very) slowly changing to accomodate them. Not all of those interviewed agreed to show their faces on camera. Some are shown in silhouette, others have their faces blurred. Dubowski interviews rabbis who are against homosexuality at all costs, rabbis who are gay themselves, gay Orthodox men, lesbian Orthodox women, and psychotherapists who are Orthodox.

It's no secret to anyone what the Bible says about homosexuality. Leviticus states that man shall not lie with man and it is an abomination. Rabbi Steve Greenberg, the first openly gay Orthodox rabbi, is trying to re-examine the Talmud and make the Orthodox community more accepting and open to gays and lesbians. "I want Orthodox parents to say, 'There are other ways to read the Torah - let's learn."

We meet David, from Los Angeles, a gay Orthodox man who came out as a teenager and struggled with his sexuality his entire life, and hoped therapy would "change" him. He tries hard to accept the fact that he will never have children through marriage.

We meet Malki from Boro Park, New York, a woman who is convinced she is the only Hasidic lesbian in the world because she has never met another. She entered into a marriage of convenience with another man, because she didn't want to lose her family. When they evenutally divorced, "my ex husband was very understanding. He knew it wasn’t a marriage made in heaven. I think my parents probably even knew. I don’t know if they knew what was going to happen when I got divorced. I feel like I am an outsider…there’s no place for me there."

We meet Israel, a Brooklynite, a gay man who has all but renounced his Orthodox faith and has been shunned by his family. “I know I live in my faith," he explains. "I don’t know what that faith is. I don’t know what God is. I certainly know it’s not the God that tells me I shouldn’t do this, I shouldn’t do that…that’s not the God that redeemed Israel out of Egypt, that’s not the God that stood by me.”

We meet Mark, a Londoner and a gay, HIV-positive, Orthodox man who was kicked out of several yeshivas (religious schools) for his gay activities, and sent to Jerusalem as a teenager by his father and his rabbi where there were "no gay people". "Big mistake," Mark says impishly, "because that's where I came out." Footage follows of Mark dressing in drag and performing at gay pride rallies, alternated with shots of him praying in yeshiva and singing religious songs with his friends.

And, as previously mentioned, we meet "Malka" and "Leah". Leah explains that they refused to give up their Orthodox practices and beliefs once they began their relationship - instead, it was their duty to make them stronger. They refused to be shown on camera, but even with their faces obscured, it is very obvious that they are deeply in love with one another, as well as being religious and having a close relationship with God. At one point, Malka is counseling a young Orthodox woman over the phone, one who was forced into marriage at seventeen and is carrying on an affair with another woman: “Why do you feel that being gay takes you away from God?" she implores. "You’re going crazy and you have no where to turn. Maybe turn to God and he can help you. You’re not lost…God is there for you! Maybe you need to knock on the door a little but God is always there for you to talk to – no appointments, no waiting, anytime 24/7.”

Malka and Leah's passion for God and for one another is very touching and, to me, completely makes the point of Dubowski's film. The way they hold each other's hands during their interviews, the way they constantly remind one another how lucky they are to be in one another's life - the way Leah holds Malka in her arms as she sobs over the fact her parents wanted nothing to do with her when she came out to them. It makes you wonder how anyone could think this love is wrong. Orthodox or not, Leah and Malka are like any other couple. They eat, sleep and pray together, they observe the holidays together, they are devoted to one another, and they are devoted to God. How could they be anything but a model couple? How could someone look at this beautiful, spiritual couple and condemn them? I was almost angry by this thought! Infuriated! Frustrated!

However, Dubowski does not end on a sour note. He concludes the film with the following epilogue:

In New York, for over 25 years, Orthodox and Hasidic gay men have devoted themselves to studying Jewish law in a weekly Talmud group.
Now, underground gay and lesbian groups such as The Gay and Lesbian Yeshiva Day School Alumni Association and the Orthodykes meet in New York, Jerusalem, London, Los Angeles, Miami and on the Internet.

I honestly enjoyed "Trembling Before G-d". Not only am I a Jew, I am an LGBTQ ally. I believe in the right to love, the right to marry, the right to practice freely. "Trembling Before G-d" was such an interesting look at a side of my own religion that I had never really explored before.

You don't need to be a Jew or even very religious to appreciate the beauty of Dubowski's work in "Trembling Before G-d". You just have to be open, accepting, and understand that though it seems like some people are stubborn and biased, they are very slowly accepting.